Don't Look Back: sequel to He Loves Me Not (Lily's Story, Book 2) Read online

  Don’t Look Back

  Lily’s Story, Book 2

  Christine Kersey

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2011 by Christine Kersey

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.

  Also by Christine Kersey

  Suspicions

  No Way Out

  He Loves Me Not (Lily’s Story, Book 1)

  Over You

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty One

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty One

  Chapter Thirty Two

  Chapter Thirty Three

  Chapter Thirty Four

  Chapter Thirty Five

  Chapter Thirty Six

  Chapter Thirty Seven

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty One

  Chapter Forty Two

  Chapter Forty Three

  Chapter Forty Four

  Chapter Forty Five

  Over You Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter One

  I stood on the gravel driveway gazing at the house I wanted to live in, the For Rent sign in the front window seeming to call to me. Blue shutters framed the windows and colorful pansies lined the walkway leading to the wide front porch. It matched the house I had pictured whenever I had imagined the perfect place to live. The only thing missing was the picket fence.

  Excitement pulsed through me as I pictured myself living there with my baby. But the excitement was replaced by worry that the rent would be too high. Though I had eighty-five thousand dollars to draw on, I had no immediate prospects for a job and needed the money to last as long as possible.

  But I needed to find a place to settle. I had to try.

  Hurrying back to my car, I pulled my new cell phone out of my purse and called the number listed on the For Rent sign. Disappointed to get voice mail, I left a message and put the phone in my pocket.

  I walked toward the rear of the house, through a gate, and found a back porch. A door appeared to lead to the kitchen and a window in the top half of the door made it easy to peek inside. The small kitchen held a breakfast nook and looked like it had plenty of cupboards. I walked around the outside of the house but the rest of the windows had curtains and I couldn’t see inside.

  Going back to the front porch, I looked through the living room window and saw a small room with hardwood floors and a fireplace. As I walked back toward my car, my cell phone rang, startling me. Afraid the caller might somehow be my husband Trevor, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was a local area code.

  “Hello?” I said, hopeful it would be the owner of the house.

  “Is this the person who called about the house?” the woman asked.

  “Yes. Is it still available?”

  “Oh yes.”

  “That’s great! I’m at the house now. Would it be possible for me to take a look inside?”

  The woman spoke to someone in the background, then to me. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  Promising to wait, I closed my phone, then realized I’d forgotten to ask about the rent.

  I sat on the porch to wait.

  Fifteen minutes later I was getting worried that the woman wasn’t going to come. The warmth of the spring day was beginning to get to me and I wondered how much longer I should wait.

  I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, then heard a car approaching. Looking toward the road, I was relieved to see a car turning into the gravel drive, then pull to a stop. I watched as an older woman climbed out of the car and made her way toward me.

  Standing as the woman approached, I smiled.

  “I’m so sorry I’m late,” the woman said, then glanced around. “Is it just you, dear?”

  I smiled, “Yep, just me.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “I’d really like to see the inside of the house, if that’s okay,” I said, concerned now that the woman wouldn’t be willing to rent the house to me.

  The woman suddenly smiled and held out her hand. “I’m Mary.”

  I shook Mary’s hand, my fears easing.

  “Kate. Kate Jamison.” It felt strange to introduce myself with that name, but I knew I would need to get used to it since I had decided to use that name instead of my real name, Lily, to make it harder for Trevor to find me.

  She pointed to my car. “I see you’re from Nevada. I lived there for a while myself.”

  “Oh. How long have you lived in California?”

  “About thirty years, I guess.” Mary paused. “How old are you, dear?”

  “I’ll be twenty-one next month.”

  “And your parents don’t mind you moving all the way here by yourself?”

  I bit my lip, startled by the question. “I don’t know how they would feel. They’re both . . . dead.” I swallowed hard to keep the tears from starting.

  Mary placed her hand on my arm. “I’m so sorry to hear that. How sad for you.”

  Nodding, I tried to smile.

  “Well, let’s take a look inside, shall we?” Mary pulled a key from her pocket and unlocked the door, then stepped back to allow me to enter first.

  The interior was stuffy from being closed up on a warm day, but I still liked the feel of the place. It was a small house - more like a two-story cottage - but it was clean. Walking around the empty living room, I noticed it could use a coat of paint, but it was big enough for me. Mary must have thought it need to be painted as well, because she said I could paint it if I’d like.

  There was a combination half-bath/laundry room off the hall that led to the kitchen. What a luxury that would be, I thought, to have my own laundry room.

  “The washer and dryer are older, but they work,” Mary said.

  We moved into the U-shaped kitchen. It was medium-size and looked like it had plenty of storage and counter space. Even better, the appliances were all there. Adjacent to the kitchen was a small dining room.

  “This house has been here for a long time,” Mary said as I followed her from room to room. “My husband and I bought it and lived here when we first moved to California. We quickly outgrew it of course. But we decided to hang on to it.”

  “How many bedrooms are
there?” I asked as we ascended the narrow staircase.

  “Just the two.”

  At the top of the stairs I turned right, which was the only way to go. I walked down the hallway and turned left, into the larger of the two bedrooms. Like the rest of the house it had hardwood floors. There were two windows; one each on two separate walls.

  “Lots of natural light,” Mary pointed out.

  I nodded as I walked out of the bedroom and peeked into the small bathroom situated next to the master bedroom. Then I stepped across the hall into the second bedroom and could immediately picture a crib along one wall and a dresser and changing table against the other.

  “This would be perfect for the baby,” I murmured.

  “Baby? What baby?” Mary asked.

  Alarmed that I had spoken out loud, I wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Are you pregnant, dear?” Mary asked, glancing at my left ring finger.

  Grateful I had decided to leave my wedding ring on, I nodded.

  “Will the baby’s father be living here too?”

  Panicked that if I gave out too much information Trevor would somehow find me, I said, “No. He’s no longer . . . around.”

  “What do you mean? Is he . . . dead?”

  Somehow, at that moment, it seemed easier to let the woman believe I was a widow. I nodded.

  “You poor thing. You’ve certainly had your share of tragedy, now haven’t you?”

  Thinking about the last year and the loss of my father, and my bad marriage to Trevor and how he had treated me, lied to me and about me, I couldn’t hold back the tears. It was like a damn bursting and I pressed my hands to my eyes to try to stop the flow.

  Suddenly I felt Mary, the woman I had barely met, wrap her arms around me. The empathy I felt from her made me sob even harder. After a few minutes I was able to get myself under control. Wiping the moisture from my face, I straightened and faced Mary. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose control like that.”

  “That’s okay, dear. Sometimes we need to have a good cry.”

  I nodded as she ushered me back down the stairs and onto the front porch.

  “Thank you for showing me the house,” I said, feeling calmer.

  “Well, do you like it?”

  “Very much, but I’m afraid I probably can’t afford it.”

  “How do you know that when I haven’t even told you how much the rent is?”

  “Well, I can only imagine how much it would be. And I just don’t think it would fit my budget.” I smiled again, trying to hide my disappointment. “But thank you for coming all the way out here and showing it to me.”

  “Young lady, I do believe we can work something out.” Mary smiled with kindness. “I’d like to see you live here. I think you would take good care of this old place.” She paused. “Tell me how much you have budgeted for rent.”

  I told her the most I felt comfortable paying.

  “Well that seems fair to me. And the peace of mind I would have in knowing my property is in good hands has value too.”

  “Really? Are you sure?” I could hardly believe my good fortune.

  “Look. This place is paid for. And the last few tenants didn’t love the place like I know you will.”

  “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.” I gently stroked my flat stomach. “To both of us.”

  Mary arranged to meet me back at the house the next morning so I could sign the rental agreement and pay the first month’s rent along with a security deposit.

  As I drove back to the motel, I paid careful attention to where I was so I could find my way back the next day.

  Chapter Two

  As I lay in bed that night, I wondered what Trevor was doing at that very moment. Was he thinking about me? Was he plotting how to find me? Was he still in jail or had his friend Bronson bailed him out? How had he reacted when he’d discovered I’d taken back the money he’d stolen from me? What was he telling his parents about his new wife and why I had left? Was he still trying to convince them it was me who had a drinking problem and not him? Perhaps he had told them I had gone on a binge and left in a drunken stupor and he didn’t know where I was or when I’d be back.

  As I thought about the lies he had told about me, I seethed with anger. He had tricked me, plain and simple. It was true that from the start he had never portrayed himself as the perfect man, but he certainly hadn’t told me that he was a thief and a liar either.

  He also didn’t tell me he had such a temper. Or was it my fault he behaved that way? Did I set him off each time? Could I have done something different to prevent his outbursts and jealousy?

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. It’s not my fault. I’m the same person I’ve always been and no one has ever hurt me like that. That is, until Trevor.

  I wondered if I would always have bad judgment when it came to men.

  It doesn’t matter anyway, I thought. I have no desire to get involved with anyone ever again. Besides, technically I’m still married. And the only thing I want to focus on is myself and my baby. That’s all that matters now.

  I finally drifted off to sleep, but near morning I woke abruptly from a nightmare. Trevor had found me and locked me up again. But this time there was an added terror: he had taken my baby.

  Not able to fall back asleep, I got up and showered, packed my belongings, and checked out of the motel. I tried to shake off the lingering fear the nightmare had generated and instead focused on the possibilities that my future held.

  Driving around the small town in the early morning dawn, I thought I was going to like living here. The downtown was hardly more than two rows of stores lining the street. Although there weren’t a lot of shops, the area was quite pretty. Trees seemed to march up and down the street and bricks formed crosswalks at each corner.

  No one was around this early in the morning, but I had time to kill so I pulled my car into a parking space and climbed out. As I walked the short distance from one end of the street to the other, I looked in the store windows. When I came to a bakery I stopped, seeing a Help Wanted sign prominently displayed in the window. I wondered if I had any chance of getting a job there. I could see people working inside. I decided to apply once I had moved my few belongings into my new house.

  Checking the time, I saw it was close enough to the time I had agreed to meet Mary at the house and decided to head over there. Five minutes later I pulled up to the little cottage and felt a thrill at the prospect of living there. Although I didn’t have any furniture, I was sure I could find some things at garage sales. In the meantime I would make do.

  I didn’t have long to wait until Mary came. This time she brought her husband, Edward. He was just as friendly as Mary.

  “It sure is nice of you to give me a break on the rent,” I said.

  Edward smiled. “Mary told me about your situation and we’re happy to help you out.”

  I felt a bit guilty that they believed I was a widow and I hoped that hadn’t played too large a part in their decision to cut the rent. Though I felt sorry for the lie, I knew I hadn’t done it to purposely fool anyone so much as to protect myself and my unborn child.

  When they presented the rental agreement, I hesitated. Should I sign my name as Lily or Kate? They hadn’t asked to see an ID, so I went ahead and signed as Kate Jamison, making my deception complete. I handed the paper back to them and they didn’t question it. I gave them the first month’s rent and the security deposit in cash, and they gave me the key.

  “The utilities were never turned off. You’ll just need to put them in your name,” Edward said. “By the way, when is the moving truck arriving?”

  I felt my face color. “Actually, this is it.” I pointed to my car.

  “What about your furniture?” Mary asked, concern clear on her face.

  “Oh, I’m sure I’ll be able to find what I need.”

  “You mean you’re buying all new things?” Mary asked, obviously shocked by the idea of such an extravag
ance.

  “Oh no,” I said. “I’ll hit the garage sales. And isn’t there a Goodwill around here somewhere?”

  “Yes, there’s one in the next town.”

  “Great. I’ll check it out.” I smiled. “And thank you again for your kindness.”

  They left after that and I was able to begin moving my things into the house. As I hung my belongings on the few hangers that had been left in the closet, I wondered what would be comfortable to sleep on that night.

  I could buy an air mattress and sleeping bag, I thought. It would be like the campouts Dad used to take me on.

  I smiled in sweet remembrance of the good times I had shared with my father, then felt a pang of guilt for depriving my own child the company of his or her father.

  But as I thought of the harm Trevor could do by treating me so poorly in front of our child, I felt my remorse vanish. I knew I was doing the right thing. I knew it more clearly than I had ever known anything in my life. Nodding in grim satisfaction that I was making the right choice, I headed back out to my car and brought in the rest of my things.

  As I placed the few pieces of my mother’s china that I had been able to salvage from Trevor’s fit of rage in the cupboard, I felt peace to have a small bit of my childhood home in my new home. Once the last plate was placed on the shelf, I stood back and surveyed my kitchen.

  Though there was plenty of cabinet and counter space, I didn’t have anything with which to fill the drawers and cupboards. The china had only taken up half of one cupboard. Worry washed over me as I considered the expense it would take to get the minimal necessities.

  Pressing my hands to my face, I felt despair threatening my earlier feeling of peace.

  What does it matter what I have, I thought, lifting my face and gazing at my new backyard. As long as I’m safe and have my freedom, it doesn’t matter what things I have.

  As my innate optimism cleansed away my despair, I heard a knock at the door and froze, suddenly terrified that Trevor had tracked me down. Frantically glancing around for some place to hide, I realized that I was vulnerable in this house, away from so many other people.